Mangi Fii ("I Am Here")

It's ok, Snowman, it's been a long winter.

If you are reading this, thank you for your patience with my updates. I'm happy to have one piece of news to share with you--The date of the Africa Mercy's return to Senegal was recently pushed back to June, 2021.

It is very tricky for Americans to return to the ship right now because of travel restrictions in the Canary Islands (where she is moored), so the most likely scenario is that I will join the ship once she is back in Dakar in a few months. If you're wondering how all of this affects my fundraising, you can click on the tab at the top of the page.

A common greeting in Wolof, the main language of Senegal, is the question Nanga def? ("How are you doing?") and the most common response is, Mangi fii ("I am here").

It reminds me of the greeting I learned in Benin. In 2014, when I was still new to that country and culture, I was surprised to see people look right at one another and ask, A ɖo finε à? ("Are you there?")

That question confused me for weeks. Why anyone would ever need to ask it was beyond me. I wished people would just stop asking! Of course I'm here, I felt like yelling, can't you see with your own eyes that I'm sitting right in front of you?? (If you are Beninese and reading my blog, I hope that makes you laugh!)

But kpede-kpede (little by little) I learned the right way to hear this question. "Hey, my friend. Are you present, here and now? Is your mind able to focus on what is in front of you? Are you making it through the day in one piece? Are you glad to be where you are in this moment? Are you as glad to be there as I am glad to see you?"

In my memory, the answer to this greeting was always "Yes", and when we say Mangi fii, it feels similar to me.

Yes, I am present.

Yes, I am focused on what is in front of me.

Yes, I am making it through the day in one piece.

Yes, I am glad to be where I am in this moment.

These are good reminders for me right now.

It has been strange to realize that by the time I return to the ship, I will have been in Minnesota for a full year. I can honestly say I never expected the pandemic to last this long (did anyone??) nor did I expect to spend so much time in the exact same place. A big shout-out to my wonderful parents for hosting me in their home for far longer than any of us originally imagined!

Comfort and growth are so often negatively correlated. Despite the discomfort of uncertainty, I feel genuinely grateful for the opportunity this has been to grow in self-knowledge and discipline through the course of the past year, and I think this gratitude will only grow as time goes on.

While it would be nice and neat to end this post right there, and say that the gains have felt consistently balanced with the challenge... real life is not always nice and neat.

There have been blessings in the past several months, and to be very honest with you, there have also been lots of tears, prayers, and anxiety. Waiting to return to the ship, where part of my life still resides; seeing plans repeatedly upended; and trying to look forward to a field service that will include heavy health restrictions has been uncomfortable and emotionally difficult. Counseling provided through Mercy Ships chaplaincy, and friends with whom I could be open and honest from week to week, were invaluable gifts that allowed me to process the grief I've been cycling through during this time. I would venture to bet that we have all grieved for something in the past year, in one way or another.

Despite the challenges, I would rather stay awake to my emotions, even the negative ones, than numb myself in this challenging season. I'm trying my best to stay awake and be able to say:

Yes, I am present.

Yes, I am focused on what is in front of me.

Yes, I am making it through the day in one piece.

Yes, I am glad to be where I am in this moment.

Although things may not be as I thought they would, I feel thankful for what is. There are many things in my life that wouldn't be there had I spent the last year on board the AFM, and are reminders of God's encompassing faithfulness.

Praying with other leaders for Hope Church's youth students at the start of the spring semester in January.

"God is exalted in power.

    Who is a teacher like him?

Who has prescribed his ways for him,

    or said to him, 'you have done wrong'?

Remember to extol his work,

    which men have praised in song.

All mankind has seen it;

    Men gaze on it from afar.

How great is God--beyond our understanding!

    The number of his years is past finding out."

Job 36:22-26

Thankful for this view from my desk!

Hope is kind of a theme around here

If you read my last post, you know that about a month ago, a door had opened for me to potentially return to the AFM between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

On Monday, I unpacked my bags. The door is closed again and I'm staying put until at least January. With current travel restrictions in place (for very good reasons) it wasn't a huge surprise. Even knowing this, the news brought a mixture of happy and sad feelings.

After 6 months away, I was pretty excited at the thought of returning to my job, celebrating Christmas on board, drinking tea together on deck 7, and even sleeping in my lil bunk space with my blue comforter!

The ship has become my second home. I haven't been away from it for this long since I joined Mercy Ships, but a little more waiting is okay.

So I sorted my belongings back into their place in my room and closed the empty suitcase. This helped me turn the page and look forward to a little more Minnesota chill (that's a positive thing, in case you couldn't tell), and a little more time with the amazing community at Hope Church, for whom I am so thankful. On November 22, I had the opportunity to share about Mercy Ships during the service.

Mercy Ships' mission statement is "Following the 2000-year-old model of Jesus, bringing hope and healing to the world’s forgotten poor." Hope a definite theme in Mercy Ships circles.

There is a staff member named Stefan who visits the ship periodically, and always gives the most encouraging talks during the community gathering. Stefan says that the enemy of our faith, the devil, loves it when we are in a tough situation and we believe “things will always be this way.” In other words, he loves hopelessness, in all its forms.

To the patients we care for, hopelessness means resigning to the idea that they will always be blind from cataracts, they will always have a cleft lip, their burn scars will always inhibit their movement, or their legs will never hold them up properly.  

Mercy Ships invites patients in who thought their lives would always be one way, and it turns out that their life can actually be changed in ways they never imagined, through surgical care and being shown the love of Christ.

When they learn that their future can be better than their present, that’s what hope is. It's a gift from a loving father. 

To us in the United States, hopelessness in this pandemic might look like entertaining the belief that we'll never again get to hug our friends and family, we'll never be able to plan beyond the next week, we'll never be able to have a "normal" lunch with coworkers where we enjoy meaningless banter, and we'll never again be able to just hang out without the threat of serious illness on our minds.

I feel confident that these thoughts of "forever", in general, are just not true. In Minnesota we know (and we've already seen several times this year) that no matter how much snow falls, it always melts. The end may not be clearly in sight now, but one day it will be.

Having hope doesn’t mean acting like everything is fine right now for it to be true. Hope says, “This has been really hard, and it's STILL hard. But if we hold on, things will get better.” The Bible shows us this path from suffering to hope in one single sentence.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

You can tell a tree by it's fruit. Hope is the fruit of those who walk through suffering with their eyes on God. And hope will not let us down, because it comes from God. Despite the challenges this year has brought, I've also seen a lot of reasons to be hopeful. Have you? Make sure to share those things when you talk to others. It’s a gift that just gets bigger the more we share it, and it has the power to change a whole lot.

Happy Thanksgiving, from our home to yours!

Thank you so much for following my blog updates! If you missed my recent webinar, the recording is available on YouTube!

I shared about Mercy Ships in general and how it operates, as well as how things went in the last field service, and what's on the horizon.

I also recently updated my fundraising page.

Neighborhood walks are still a priority. On this particular evening, I loved 
how the cloud make it look like we actually had mountains in Minnesota!

An Open Door (& not "should-ing" all over yourself)

Family dinners on the front porch was our summertime ritual before before the pandemic

As of November, 2020, I've been home in Minnesota for around 5 months, and it's been wonderful to have an extended break. I've written a few reflections below, but in case your time is short, I want to start with four important updates:

1.

The current plan is for the Africa Mercy to return to Senegal to wrap up our field service there. The return date will be no earlier than April, 2021, global health conditions permitting.

2.

The Africa Mercy is currently in the Canary Islands, undergoing an extended routine maintenance period. Below is a video update from Mercy Ships, featuring my friend Kees (from the Netherlands).

3.

Despite the delayed field service, a door has opened for me to return to my role as the Executive Assistant on the Africa Mercy in early December, to assist the newly appointed Managing Director. I've decided to take the opportunity, so I am preparing for an upcoming departure. However, the global travel situation is still pretty shaky, so I'm holding plans lightly!

4.

Before I go, you're invited to attend a virtual information session where I would love to share with you a bit about the past field service and what lies ahead. You can choose which time would suit you:

• Tuesday, November 17th @ 7:00-8:00pm CST
• Saturday, November 21st @ 10:00-11:00am CST

Click HERE to register for a virtual information session!

~ ~ ~

I first drafted this blog post in early March, and it's been haunting me ever since. At the time, Mercy Ships was already gearing up for a routine transition, from one field service to the next. But I don't think any of us yet anticipated the massive season transition that we actually got!

Back in March, my plan for the next 5 months looked very different, and looking back it's a bit hilarious to compare them with reality! I've returned to this blog post a couple of times since then, and each time, it's hard to not think in terms of how I thought 2020 should have gone.

Dinner out on deck 7 with friends in the port of Granadilla.

In April, I "should" have been visiting my alma mater in Michigan, but instead that visit was cancelled and Hope College's campus sat empty of students.

In June, I couldn't help but remember that I "should" have been headed to Liberia, but instead I was packing up to return to Minnesota for an undetermined amount of time.

But in the words of one of the ship's chaplains came to mind: "Stop 'should-ing' all over yourself!" In other words, dwelling on the "shoulds" is not helpful. They are worth nothing now. The only meaningful currency in this unpredictable season are adaptability and trust in the only One who doesn't change (James 1:17) and who can bend all things for our good if we stay close to Him (Romans 8:28).

Five years from now, we may see 2020 with 20-20 vision. Much of the uncertainty will make a lot more sense, and many of our current questions will have clear answers--but don't worry, I'm sure by then we'll have plenty of new questions to wonder about on this side of eternity. ^_~

Thank you for reading, and don't forget to register for a virtual information session!

Below are a few more highlights from my time home.

It was great to see friends in person at Hope Church's outdoor vespers in July!
They've opened up socially distant indoor services since then, and we've alternated
between attending online and in-person.

Hope Shores Bible Camp went remote this summer, but some former
staffers still got to take on the high school campers for some kickball!

Meeting up with Mercy Ships friends Kayla (left) and Christelle.

A later summer hiking trip on the North Shore with the family.

I love being able to attend a Bible study with friends while I am home!