On Unexpected Detours and "Lizard Brain"

Things have changed again.

The unexpected news was read aloud in a team meeting. The return to Senegal for the Africa Mercy was delayed until January, 2022.

In many ways, this delay has been more difficult to process than the previous ones. After being home for almost a year, away from the ship that had been home, community, and workplace, the return date had felt so close. But when I was about the reach the finish line, it turns out the race was only halfway over. 

Shortly after the announcement was made, I could imagine, in my mind's eye, how a well-adjusted, resilient adult should handle this kind of news. By my own admission, I don't think I emulated it very well. I could imagine what some logical next steps might be, but I was too upset to take those next steps, or even care what they were. Instead, I felt like crawling into a hole to hide. Looking back, I know this was a period in which I was experiencing the stages of acute grief, and my lizard brain was going full-throttle.

For a time, I didn't know how to find the way forward. But thankfully, little by little, the way forward is finding me.

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Flashback to November, 2019. A group of us were driving to the Mercy Ships agricultural site, a couple hours towards the interior of Senegal. As can easily happen, we got a little turned around during the trip, driving for 10-15 minutes up the wrong road and through a neighboring village. Eventually we realized our mistake, and the only thing to do was backtrack the same way we had come.

We reached a sandy clearing that was wide enough to make a U-turn. In the scope of West Africa, the view from the vehicle was unremarkable. It included a few goats, some drying laundry, and large tree, under which a few people were seated together on benches. They were looking understandably perplexed as a white Land Cruiser, filled to the brim with mostly white people, arrived in the center of their village, then summarily turned around and left.

Our driver was the ever buoyant and optimistic Operations Director, John. As we drove back to the main road, although we hadn't reached our final destination, John gestured vaguely at our surroundings and declared, "Well... if we hadn't come this way, we wouldn't have seen this!" as though it was what we has been looking for all along.

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John was right. If we hadn't gotten a bit turned around, we almost certainly never would have laid eyes on that hidden corner of that unknown (to us) village, and the people sitting in that clearing may have never gotten an unexpected visit from a mysterious white SUV. But we did, and they did. Although the detour served no apparent purpose, John's declaration reminded us to be thankful that it happened anyway. If one was constantly pining after the "shoulds" ("we should be there by now", "we should have read the directions more carefully") and unable to celebrate "what is", life would be kind of a drag!

To be totally honest, I didn't know how I was going to share this difficult news, but I am reassured by the knowledge that I have an amazing network of friends, prayer warriors, and supporters who have been my partners in this work for nearly 4 years, and this season is no exception. I would love to answer any additional questions that you may have about this latest update.

 A patient at the vaccine clinic where I worked
handed out thank you's to every staff person she
encountered. It made my day!

Regarding my immediate plans:

To introduce some more routine into my week and take a break from remote work, I had been working part-time at a vaccine clinic in Minneapolis. Coincidentally, the site recently closed, and so it was a good moment to transition to a seasonal position at a store where I have previously worked. I will be starting that job in May and will stay there for a season. Depending on my hours, I may pick up a few odd projects for Mercy Ships, but it's safe to assume that I will be sticking around Minnesota for the summer.

This new delay is a reminder, frustrating though it may be, that I do not have the power to make my plans come to fruition. Neither does Mercy Ships. The only one that gets to have their plans work out on time, every time, is God. Like it says in Proverbs 16:9, "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."

I will continue to share updates as I have them. For those that have been partnering with me in prayer, God has heard, I cannot stress enough how much that helps when things are so uncertain!

For my financial partners, I understand that this is a season of uncertainty for many. If you need to make any adjustments to your monthly giving, please know that I completely understand. Contact information for Mercy Ships Donor Services on my Fundraising page.

"Be willing to abide in darkness so long as you have His presence. Remember that it is better to walk in the dark with God than to walk alone in the light." 

—The Still Small Voice (from "Streams in the Desert")

For my birthday in March, my family went hiking at Afton. It was muddy, but worth it!

Spring wildflowers in Bloomington