Buried Treasure

Matthew 13:44 

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."

Most people cringe when I tell them I lived with 14 girls in the same house for part of college. Now I live with 400-something people in one ship. Let's talk about what that's like.

Last night around 10:00pm, I was taking some trash out to the dumpster on the dock. As I walked back towards the ship, that unplanned moment of utter solitude gave me such unexpected joy. I suddenly realized I was grinning ear-to-ear like a crazy person--it felt like I was getting away with something! So instead of going straight back up the gangway and inside, I did another lap around the dock, reveling in the silence, hidden in plain sight. Other nights I purposefully go up to Deck 8 and walk alone, giving my mind some space to wander. Let me tell you, it feels amazing.

I almost titled this post "I had a tender moment with the dumpster" before I thought better of it.

When we leave home, it looks like this

And when we come back (and it happens to be sunset), it looks like this

For an introvert on a ship where there is always something going on and somebody ready to extend the invitation, taking advantage of these moments of solitude can feel like finding buried treasure in a field--I say I would give anything for them, but in reality I'm not always prepared to "miss out" on whatever else is going on in order to have them. Even when I know that the treasure is there, buried just under the surface, I sometimes choose to walk past the field and on to the next thing.

Even though it's only one verse long, there is a reason Jesus told this story. If there were no choice involved, if choosing to lose in order to gain was a quick and easy decision, then there would be no parable! But it's a difficult decision, and people go both ways all the time. It's one thing to know the better option. It's another thing to pursue that better option, consistently, every day, no matter the cost.

Some days the need for solitude is more evident...
...when I realize I haven't had a commitment-free night all week
...when I can't hear my friends talking over the other several-hundred people in the dining room at lunch time
...when I sort of feel like banging my forehead against the wall because another person was kind enough to ask me how I'm doing and I didn't return the question because we were walking in opposite directions down the hallway and there wouldn't be time to listen to their answer, but I hope they don't think I don't care (can I get an amen from the other introverts out there?? GUH)

Ironically, at an all-crew meeting last week, which is held in a big room called the International Lounge, the topic for the night was... community! They asked us to break up into small groups and think about what community means. Lo and behold, the answer was that there are many answers. Here are just a few:

• Community means giving and accepting grace.
• Community means valuing each other, no matter their age, rank, or position on the ship.
• Community means letting Jesus' love flow through us by doing the job nobody else wants.
• Community means worshiping with the work of our hands.
• Community means looking past differences towards a common goal.
• Community means loving out of God's strength and not our own.
• Community means being vulnerable.

And just then something became clear to me in a new way: I know that solitude is necessary, and wanting solitude from time to time means I'm normal and not crazy. But even so, there is another side to this coin. Solitude is a treasure to be sought after, but it's not the only treasure. It's not an end in itself, but a means to the end. That meeting was a good reminder that the kingdom of heaven--the treasure--is also hidden in one another. For me, solitude provides balance so that I can fully invest in the people around me and uncover this treasure, the image of God in each person on this ship.

It's totally possible for introverts to thrive on this ship, but there is a certain amount of strategy involved. It's vital for me to know myself well enough to recognize when I'm spent and just need a "tender moment with the dumpster" to get my head on straight again.

Equally vital is having friends who understand when I just need to sit in my cabin and shave pills off of my socks and sweaters for a while before I'm ready to re-join the world (if you've never done that, you gotta try it). Good to have friends who trust me enough to sit side-by-side and not say anything at all for a little bit, because sharing that space is enough. Good to have friends who will invite me to eat lunch one-on-one because it's been a crazy few days (thanks, Emilie!). Good to have friends who will see that I'm reading but pause for a moment to convey, one way or another, "I'm going to leave you alone, but I see you and I love you." I don't know if I'm making sense. To them these things may feel small, but to me they are very powerful.

Our perch for the night, at 3000m

I climbed a mountain in early September. The aptly-named Mount Cameroon. Our little group started at 1000 meters in a city called Buea (boo-ay-uh), and kept climbing high enough that the winter-weight jacket I rented at the tourism office came in very handy.

By the time we reached our overnight lodging at around 3000 meters, my legs were spent, and there was nothing I wanted more than to sit down, stretch my muscles, and eat heaps and heaps of rice. My wildest dreams for that moment came true when our ridiculously strong porters--Zacchaeus, Nelson ("Like Nelson Mandela," he added when he introduced himself), and Matheus--cooked up a big pot of rice, chicken, and sauce, and put a steaming plate right in my lap.

Dinner by the fire (It was chilly! Hot food was a welcome treat)

We had planned to reach the summit early on Sunday, but in the end we didn't end up climbing all the way up. For me that was a minor footnote to an incredible adventure. In 24 hours, we had walked through breathtaking jungle scenery, broke through the treeline (and the clouds), looked down on the shoreline of Douala beautifully illuminated in the night, gazed up at a sky bursting with stars, and watched a silent lighting storm at 4:30am ("God is welding," said Emerson). I wouldn't change a thing about that perfect weekend.

Looking down at Douala (top) and Buea (bottom)

Back down we go

My friend Dominik also deserves a shout out here. He was the one that reached out to invite me on this amazing hiking trip. And if you didn't know, Dominik was also the person who first encouraged me to apply for Mercy Ships back in 2016! I've known him since 2015, when I was working with Wycliffe Benin. After leaving Benin, he worked with Mercy Ships for two years, and has been the Chief Electrician for the past year, which is pretty impressive, even if he'd never admit it himself. ;)

Despite his talents and experience, he walks in humility, preferring to elevate others through encouragement and mentorship rather than draw attention to himself. Everyone that knows him (which at this point is basically everyone on board!) has enormous respect for Dominik. He is patient, but also quick to pray, and I feel blessed to call him a friend.

Luckily, my time on board overlapped for a couple months with the end of his service with Mercy Ships, so we had time to catch up on the ship, which was such a blessing! This Monday, he said goodbye to the ship and went home to Switzerland. The community was sad to see him go, but we're also so happy that he gets to be closer to his family and loved ones again. :)

Water break on Mt. Cameroon (L to R--Dominik, Mattheus, Zacchaeus)
(please note the size of Zacchaeus' backpack. Like seriously, I could fit mySELF in there!!)

Speaking of Buea, please keep that area in your prayers. Barely a week after we went on that trip, the English-speaking Northwest and Southwest regions of Cameroon (where Mt. Cameroon is located) went off-limits to crew due to increasing protests. That situation is ongoing, and the unrest is taking its toll on those communities, and the country as a whole.

Here are a couple articles (1) (2) that might be a good place to start if you want to read more about what's going on.